Seeing My Story in Color: A Vibrant Reaction

The house blared as Mom sang off-key.

The kids bounced, scanning for signs of the book.

Creating this book…

I CREATED A BOOK!

…sorry, let’s continue… has been collaborative sunshine—but also deeply vulnerable. I’m asking people to read my vision, to understand me, to trust my characters, their emotions, & the cloud I know so well. (& then, weirdly, I’m asking it to be successful.)

When it’s worked out—so far—it’s felt like my mind has been translated into something more alive.

I recognize my own words, my little obsessions, my nervous moments, & it somehow they are so story-worthy.

Matt asked, “How do you feel seeing it in color?”

The answer surprised me.

For so long, my focus had been on Mom—on translating her emotions, her invisible cloud, her quiet strength. This story has always been told from her point of view. But when I saw the color sketches, I barely looked at her…(me).

Instead, I was enamored with Alma and Max—how they popped on the page, how their small details brought light to the scene. I found myself obsessed with Dad, vibrant in the background, grounding me in something simple & real. I searched for the hermit crab, rolling across the sand, & followed him instead of my cloud.

Seeing all those little details reminded me that, at its core, this really is a fun beach day.

Yes, high-functioning depression shows up, but so does everything else beyond me. & in that mix, I saw the strength that comes from showing up anyway. The space this family holds for Mom, & the way Juliana filled that space with whimsical art & vibrant beauty, made me stop and smile.

Maybe there’s one page where you see the darker side of depression—but overall, you see happiness. My words ring true: it’s a part of me not all of me. It’s just parts of the book, small moments, feelings that pass.

Leading up to the release of the sketches

I was struggling. I’d shut down a bit—poorly processing things happening in my life—but I kept reminding myself: sunshine is coming.

Still, it was strange. I had built this moment up in my head. I wanted to see Mom. I wanted to analyze the cloud. I wanted to understand the translation of my emotions.

But when it came, it wasn’t the focus I’d been waiting for. The dazzle shifted. The art highlighted different emotions—ones I hadn’t expected—& somehow, it became the connection I truly needed.

So I’m sharing Mom singing off-key, the radio blaring—because this is the journey. It’s wild, messy, off-key… & the best entertainment.

Have you ever built something up in your mind—an idea, a moment, an event—only to find the reality was different, maybe even better… more colorful than you expected?

Don’t forget to pre-order via the links in my bio, & keep an eye on Instagram for ARC sign-ups!